State Bank of LIfe insurance

Today a copy of letter said to be that of the MD of State Bank of India is doing rounds. In today’s world nothing can be authentic and the quality of the letter looks too good to be fake. The letter forbids holding of any kind of felicitation program until end of December this year. Along with the felicitation programs its aliases in the name of conclave and education trip has also been put on hold.

The last sentence of the letter is interesting, all dimensions have to be considered before felicitating a staff.  

What is the inspiration behind the letter? The country’s largest lender decided to put advances on backseat and go all out to canvass business for its Life insurance JV (which is a private limited firm). Enormous pressure were put on its official to convert its deposits into life insurance policies. Gullible people believing the words of the Branch officials out their money into insurance schemes thus locking their money for the next 15-20 years.

1. Even funny part is this is at a point of time when the Bank is facing an acute deposit cruch, unheard of in memorable recent past.

2. It gets even funnier when SBI Life has literally cut down its agents (BDMs you may call). So they have almost zero investment and all profit.

3. People with no training sells you the product. (There are training sessions, but its an excuse to get drunk)

So towards the end of the month, the wise men realise they haveno bread and butter in the table. 

And here starts the rightful indignation 

ലടു

ഒരു ചെറുകഥ (short story)

ഒരു ദിവസം ഫോൺ അടിച്ചു. പരിചയമില്ലാത്ത നമ്പർ.

മറുവശത്ത് ഒരു കിളിനാദം

'സർ എൻ്റെ ഭർത്താവിൻ്റെ അക്കൗണ്ടിൽ നിന്ന് പൈസ എടുക്കണം. പക്ഷേ അക്കൗണ്ട് inoperative ആണ്.'

'ഭർത്താവിനെ കൂട്ടി ആധാർ കോപിയുമായി ബാങ്കിൽ വരു'

'ഭർത്താവതിന് ഇവിടില്ല സാറേ '

അവൻ്റെ മനസ്സിൽ ലടു ചെറുതായി പൊട്ടി

'ഭർത്താവ് എവിടെ? എപ്പോ വരും?'

'ഉടനേ ഇല്ല സാറേ'

ലടു കുറച്ചൂടെ പൊട്ടി

' ഉടനേയില്ലേ?'

'ഇല്ല സാറേ. കൊലക്കുറ്റത്തിന് ജയിലിലാ. ഉടനേ വരില്ല'

പൊട്ടിയ ലടു അവൻ വേഗം തൂത്തു വൃത്തിയാക്കി

Mothers' Day

ആൾക്കൂട്ടത്തിൽ അവർ വേറിട്ടു നിൽക്കും, ആ വിഷാദം കലർന്ന ചിരിയും, സദാ നിറക്കുടങ്ങളായി നിൽക്കുന്ന കണ്ണുകങ്ങളും. പല തവണ ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ടെങ്കിലും ഒരു ദിവസം അവർ എൻ്റെ കാബിനിലേക്ക് വന്നു

'സാർ ഒരു ലോൺ വേണം'

സർക്കാർ ജീവനക്കാരിയാണ്. ലോൺ കൊടുക്കുന്നതിന് സന്തോഷം. എന്നാലും പതിവു ചോദ്യങ്ങളിലേക്ക് കടന്നു. 

എന്തിനാണ് ലോൺ?

പൊതുവേ എല്ലാവരും വീടിന് അറ്റകുറ്റപണി എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞ് ഒഴിഞ്ഞുമാറാറാണ് പതിവ്. മിക്കവാറും വട്ടി പലിശയ്ക്കെടുത്ത പണം തിരിച്ചു കൊടുക്കാനാണ് ബാങ്കിൽ ലോണിന് വരിക.

ഒരു നിമിഷം അവരുടെ മുഖം ഇരുണ്ടു.

'ചികിത്സയ്ക്കാണ് സാറേ '

' എന്ത് ചികിത്സ?'

'Infertility ചികിത്സയ്ക്ക് പോകണം സാറേ '

In an Indian scenario it will be quite difficult to a stranger man that you're infertile. Especially the stigma attached to it.

അടുത്തത് എൻ്റെ മൗനത്തിൻ്റെ ഊഴമായിരുന്നു. ഞാനവർക്ക് Application forms കൊടുത്തുവിട്ടു.

രണ്ടു മൂന്നു മാസമായിട്ടും അവരെ കണ്ടില്ല. ചികിത്സ ഇല്ലാതെ എല്ലാം ശരിയായിട്ടുണ്ടാവും എന്ന് ഞാൻ പ്രത്യാശിച്ചു.

ഒരു ദിവസം അവർ വന്നു. ചുണ്ടിൽ ആ പതിവ് പുഞ്ചിരി ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു.കൈയിൽ പൂരിപ്പിച്ച Loan application.

ഞാൻ പതിവ് കുശലങ്ങളൾക്ക് ശേഷം Loan processing ആരംഭിച്ചു. പേര്, ജോലി, മേൽവിലാസം മുതലായവയിൽ കൂടെ പോയി ഭർത്താവിൻ്റെ പേരെത്തി.

'രജീഷ് '

മനസ്സിൽ എവിടെയോ ഒരു ചെറിയ മിന്നൽ. ഈ പേര് മുമ്പ് കേട്ടിട്ടുണ്ടല്ലോ. വെറും സംശയമാണെങ്കിലും വിട്ടു കളയാൻ തോന്നിയില്ല. അകത്ത് പോയി പഴയ ഡോകുമെൻ്റസ് തപ്പിയെടുത്തു. ഒരു ഫോട്ടോ ഉണ്ട് അതിൽ

'ഇതാണോ നിങ്ങടെ ഭർത്താവ്?'

'അതേ '

' ഇയാളെവിടുണ്ട്? കുറേ നാള് മുന്നേ ഇവിടുന്ന് ലോണെടുത്ത് മുങ്ങിയ കക്ഷിയാണ് '

പെട്ടെന്ന് ആ തുളുമ്പി നിന്ന കണ്ണുകൾ നിറഞ്ഞൊഴുകി.

'അറിയില്ല സർ'

'അറിയില്ലേ? പിന്നെ നിങ്ങൾ എന്തു ചികിത്സയ്ക്കാണ് പോകുന്നത്?'

'അത് പുള്ളി പറഞ്ഞു കുട്ടികൾ എങ്ങനെ ഉണ്ടാവുന്നു എന്നറിയണ്ട. ഉണ്ടാവുന്ന വരെ സഹകരിക്കില്ല എന്ന് '

ഞാൻ ഒന്നും മിണ്ടിയില്ല. ലോൺ പാസാക്കി വിട്ടു.

ഒരു ഇൻഷുറൻസ് കൂടെ എടുക്കട്ടെ

ആ ബ്രാഞ്ച് മാനേജർ തൻ്റെ മുന്നിലെ സാലറി സ്ലിപ് നോക്കി. ഒരു ലോണിന് കേഴാൻ വന്ന സ്ലിപ്പാണ്. സ്ലിപിനേക്കാളും ദയനീയമായിരുന്നു അതിൻ്റെ ഉടമസ്ഥൻ്റെ മുഖം.

ആ ദയനീതയിലും ഒരു കൗതുകമുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. ഇത്രയേറെ 'Insurance Deduction' ഉള്ള സ്ലിപുകൾ അയാൾ മുമ്പ് കണ്ടിട്ടില്ല. പൊതുവേ മലയാളി സമൂഹത്തിന് അലർജിയുള്ള സാധനമാണ് Life Insurance

കാരണങ്ങൾ മൂന്നാണ്

1. ചത്താലേ പ്രയോജനമുള്ളൂ

2. ചത്താലും എനിക്ക് പ്രയോജനമില്ല

3. എടുത്താൽ ഉടനെ ചാവുമെന്ന അന്ധവിശ്വാസം

ഇയാളോട് ആ മാനേജർക്ക് ഒരു ബഹുമാനമൊക്കെ തോന്നി. പക്ഷേ എന്നാലും മനസ്സിൽ ഒരു ചെറിയ സംശയം. കിട്ടുന്ന പകുതി പൈസയും ഇൻഷുറൻസായി അടക്കണോ? ഇയാൾക്കിനി മരിക്കാൻ വല്ല പ്ലാനുണ്ടോ?

'അല്ല ഈ കരുതൽ അൽപം കടന്നു പോയില്ലേ?' മാനേജർ ചോദിച്ചു

'അത് സാറേ ഓഫീസിൽ ഒരു പെണ്ണു വന്നു ചോദിച്ചപ്പോ എടുത്തു പോയി' ഒരു കള്ളച്ചിരി പാസ്സാക്കി അയാൾ പറഞ്ഞു

'എന്തായാലും ലോണിന് വന്നതല്ലേ എൻ്റെ വക ഒന്നു കൂടി ഇരിക്കട്ടെ'

Digital farce

The real problem with SBI is, it's a mammoth organization being run on the whims and fancies of a select few.  The untouchables are not to be questioned as they're wise and the wisdom is beyond comprehension of the average man.

So from their infinite wisdom, they decree things beyond comprehension of the ones below. The ones below, rather than subjecting the decree to logic, goes about executing it. The reason being the sole existence of survival, which is called promotion, rests solely in the hands of the 'wise' one. Why destroy the career?

This abuse of position continues until it reaches the base where we have a lot of shit to smell (of all the wise ones above) and claim how fragrant it is.

Don't mistake me, these decisions aren't based on stupidity alone. They're not idiots. The so called wisdom is a by-product of corruption and inefficiency. Today the Bank has become experimentation ground for what can be called American business consultants and fancy software company. The common worker has to bear the brunt of these fancy ideas incompatible with the working conditions on the ground.

The new fever has been what is called the digital banking- panacea of all the ailments. It's said that it will drive out all the 'wasteful' business out of the Bank so that the workman will have plenty of leisure. The way they found to implement the marvellous idea is praiseworthy. Reducing staff strength.
On an average a person has to wait 3-5 hours at a branch for a simple transaction. So he'll be 'forced' to move to digital platform.

The exalted ones even go to the extent of pulling out even the little staff we have to start a 'digital marketing team' . The job with the digital marketing is to call up the customers from the digitally-generated-list of eligible personal loan. Then they're asked to visit the Branch. Now the Branch doesn't have any staff in the first place as the exalted ones have already taken them.

This piece I write in my frustration of having to see the organization that puts food on the table being brutally destroyed thanks to arrogance, megalomania and ego of few

Security Risks today

What is wrong with our Banks?

A few days ago our TV channels suddenly cut off from political turmoil in Kerala and flashed up a fraud in Bank ATM. The whole city was preplexed as the Police could not crack the case initially. After some days another news comes around that a robbery attempt was made ina Bank where the robber tried to get away with a computer hard disk instead of any money.
Then another fraud was unearthed in the same branch when a employee canvassed a customer for investing in mutual funds. The customer agreed for a huge amount and in the end the employee got away with the money.   It is a common recurrence now, as the fraudsters have realized there is a gaping hole in our security systems. As a result fraudsters get away with easy money as the common man see their life saving getting washed off in a jiffy.  

Now is there a serious study for analysing the reasons of increase in frauds. Or are we looking into quick fix solutions?

  Compromise of security in favour of numbers: Sometime ago the Government launched it's flagship programme of cheap bank account for the common man. There was also a freebie of accidental insurance that came along with the plan. Soon the pressure came in Finance ministry to mop up maximum numbers. The bank officials had no option but to throw up caution in wind to rake in maximum accounts. Now this model of running a business has precolated down venomously and engulfed every form of Banking. The huge asking numbers force the officials to compromise security unintentionally.    

Unscientific implementation of Technology: We Indians are so bad in innovating things. We still find it blissful to talk about inventing zeroes and nothing significant afterwards. The Banks in India were not at all into implementation of Core Banking Solutions and then one fine morning decided to adopt technology. The bank heads were very good in credit, forex, interest rates etc. But they weren't very good at technology. This resulted into huge wastage of money and in some cases Banks were nearly grounded into closure.  

Unprincipled outsourcing: We are really good in implementing western ideas of management, but in a rather brash way. One such killer idea was outsourcing. Outsourcing is a concept, which in its essence is good. But implementation without studying risks involved can turn the whole concept that can destroy your organization. If we take the case of ATMs as an example, the whole operation has been outsourced for the purpose of better utilization of resources. Now the idea of outsourcing is good. But then opening more units than you can manage, without any proper mechanism to monitor can in turn lead into an avalanche of problems.

Another perfect example is when the governor of RBI commented that IT solution couldn't actually cut the cost for Banks. Now this is true when you look into SLAs the Banks entered into with IT companies. Even a  small change is charged heavily and major IT operations are supported by frsh hands from college. In the race to cut costs the security became the convenient sacrificial lamb.  

A serious risk no one is bothering to look into is Bank merger. Now creating a monster Bank is a great idea. But as the size of monster increease, so does its weaknesses and potential risks. Have the Bank bosses set up necessary mechanism to counter the risk?  

Give us our Money

Just the last week I filed my first application for Right to Information.

Well, for the blissfully unaware, Right to Information is an act enacted by the GoI making it a right for the citizens to get information from public sector organizations.

I have been active for sometime on online forums, what you may call ’ online activism’. I have been ridiculed too by many for this ‘impotent activism’. But I find myself more aware of my environment. And unless you are aware of your surroundings you may never find a need to react.

Now, for a while, I have been thinking about taking the activism a step ahead. And that day the lightning struck.

I was out in the city market, for the festival day shopping. Palayam is one of the crowded places in the city and there  is ATM run by the State Bank right in the center of it. Even though I have been there many times, I have only been able to get cash out of this ATM  It was not different this day as well. And I had to stand a drizzle to walk half a kilometer for the next ATM. Now walking 500m in a drizzle is not a problem for me. But the amazing amount banks pay to the private vendors to maintain this ATM is a problem.
The Banks pay a hefty amount every year to these private agencies in the name of ‘outsourcing’.

Now this magical word has brought in ‘cost effectiveness’, ‘better resource management’ and ton load goodies from the corporate lexicon. But on ground we see none of these.What happens is the Public Sector Banks dole out the money, from common man’s pocket and provide him services that doesn’t function. 
The irony doesn’t end there. There are provisions in the agreement to invoke penalties for non functioning. The banks are due in the tune of crores from these vendors.But the penalty is never invoked. Next time when your loan is due, try not paying and you can see if the bankers spare you!

Jan Dhan Yojana

Our beloved PM sr has realized that many of us Indians are unbanked. no one in the country knew about the deadly fact. being unbanked is much worse than being underpoverty line.

so he announces in the majestic red fort during the Independence day that he is launching a programme to 'bank' India. An overdraft and insurance is the prize money. He then shoots off a mail to every bank employee in the country to 'shoulder' the responsibility and rise to the occassion. PM sir's letter is read in every office and the bank employee signs the letter stating he has read the contents

But the banker is given no choice but to ' rise to the occasion'. PM sir had also sent every banker a white cap. Wearing the white cap every employee from the top to bottom explore the streets looking for any 'un-banked' man. No one seems to be interested, so banked people are banked again by pretending they are unbanked. Photographs are sent to PM sir. I visit my DGM sir in his air conditioned room, he signals me to be silent. A television is broadcasting LIVE the PM sir's flagship programme. Apparently every office has to broadcast the programme live

PM sir has brilliantly used the state machinery to drive the programme. He knew very well the protest comes only when there is an option for the chooser. Better ignore the parallels with a man who lived around Germany some 70 years ago. Meanwhile I hope someone called Finance Minister is still alive

INSURED??

Today had a chance to talk to few branch managers. The conversation veered to some LIFE INSURANCE policies. After the meltdown the insurance people abandoned the ULIP products all together and came with SAFER products.

The plus point is the benefits only kicks in after 60 yrs of age. By the time you will be too bored to chase the scoundrels. Don't misunderstand me, insurance sellers don't lie. But they won't tell the whole truth. The naked truth is there is high chances of you turning penniless

The insurance selling would've been better if left t sellers. But the bosses have come up with a great idea of using the branch infrastructure to sell their wares. The idiot buyers think it's product of the bank bu it's not.

With central government increasing FDI in insurance sector, pressure will go worse to sell. I have known many big time officials who does absolutely nothing but sell insurance. They go untouched and live a happy life, when the others toil.

The same people who says insurance is a tricky product are themselves the top sellers. But then it's another matter to discuss'
Even then it's not the sellers who gets away wth the commission, there are like men of immense wealth who earns in billins as funds flow into his stocks

Going up

After a period of prolonged tussle with various employee unions and some unpopular decisions, the departure of the Chairman was a huge reliefe to an organisation with lakhs of employees spread all over the country

The new chairman came in with a whiff of fresh ideas and some populist measures. Now she has come up with a training program spread from July to  fag end of October. The idea of training every employee all through the country is not simple.

I attended the mandatory program last week. The seesions were not very boring, but everything to the point with group activities and videos.

90% of the session was on dealing with customers. How to talk politely to them etc.
There was also couple of sessions on reduction of waste , teamwork etc.

I strongly believe in reduction of waste. But to think that customer dissatisfaction is root of every malady in the organisation sounds strange to me.
But assurance from the Chairman that employee would be taken care of, sounded soothing

One other aspect I couldn't quite digest was the need to endorse government and impending prosperity. This was repeated atleast thrice

Dance with the devil

Today was reading a news release where Canara Bank expressed it's willingness to sanction more loans to metro projects' i seems a in-principle approval was made in just three weeks. The interest rate is 10.8 floating with a repayment of 20 years and moratorium of 7 years

Sounds so interesting that the bank has chipped in towards infrastructure development of the nation. But looking at it, credit is running to a total of 7000 crore pls and the project has been shooting the deadlines. 7 years moratorium with a floating rate can ensure that total liability may reach astronomical figures, coupled with the fact that Metro projects in India hasn't been a resounding success yet  in terms of profit generation.

May be at this movement the bank officials might be clebrating the success of their achievement. U what if 10 years down the line they end up with a still born in the hands

Thailand Training

No matter how much you abhor it, once you're in the industry, you start liking it to the point where you can't live without it. Bank sucks you in and slowly changes the very core.
The last few years have taught me to be ruthless, shrewd and selfish

I believe everyone around me are. May be they don't realize it anymore

June July months is the period you start flying out for 'training sessions'. You needn't be a big shot for that. I will tell you how

If you ask someone working in a bank if he sell insurance. You  can expect a lecture on how he dropped the business years ago. And how it's for cheating gullible customers
But come December and with  a strange fervour everyone runs around to get 'business'. If you think it's for the national good or to earn profits for the bank, you're sorely mistaken
The strategy this year was to seduce the customer into some pension plan by investing a small amount. The poor guy in the fear of turning penniless at old age puts his money in

After two months the agents stand with a puffed chest, when th results are announced. In another two months he flies to Thailand or Singapore for a 'training session'. I don't understand why it's deemed as training'. May be o outsmart the IT
After the tour the agents announce that they have divorced insurance selling..... to wait for next December

Note to customers: All these training trips is financed from your premium. Most of the star plans a few years ago have bit dust. Keep this in mind when your agent return from his 'training'

The way to outsource Exams

The bank thought it totally unnecessary to let the world  know that they had entered into some agreement with Reliance on 'Banking correspondents' in unreached areas. The bank had stopped the whole exercise a few years back due to financial advantage taken by the BCs. But now the bank changed its mind and thought it would be great t extend the agreement. The news hit in through the newspapers and more noise followed. There was heated discussions at our offices on how we would end up workin for Ambanis.

Apart from bank, every public sector organisation  outsource all their parallel activities today so as to focus on the specialised areas. In the same way, the bank decided to outsource it's recruitment examinations.

Conducting recruitment examination was a matter of pride for the bank. The bank also drives the recruitment process for associate banks and even the intterview process. The whole thing sounds like 'SBI recruits for other bank'.

But managing an examination is no child's play. The question papers have to be checked in, examination centers arranged for. Stationaries brought, seating arrangements made in advance, food and snacks arranged for, officials and others found for the duty, questions and stationeries  all have to be supplied in time, attendance taken & finally everything sealed and sent to Mumbai. The cost and time for the logistics involved is considerably big.

Then TCS, the solution provider for all ailments in the country, comes up with a solution. They would conduct the exams, correct all he papers and publish the results. All bank has to do is pay for each student applying for the exam. From the outset this looks like a win-win situation for all. Since it's a migration to online mode, a  major portion of effort and cost comes down in a single go. So it's all supposed to be smiles and handshakes. This could be the watershed movement for the whole óutsourcing. Industry. Sweet sounds of cost control, Business process re-engineering, streamlining wafts through the air.

And the day of examination  comes near. Lakhs of candidates are fighting for a few hundred psts. I am apointed as one of  the invigilator. The very first minute, there seems to be something fishy.  20 minutes to go and there sems to be a lot of unusual confusion. Attendance has not been marked, stationaries not supplied and moreover invigilators at the exam hall looks so youngish.
Wait a minute, I spotted a guy who I know.. BU he is supposed to be in college and here he is wearing a TCS tag. And he tells me he is here a s a 'volunteer'. Not just him, the whole bunch of people running the critical examination is 'volunteers'. Well volunteering is free though with a fees of 500 bucks and food.

The picture became all the more clear when we learnt the whole gamut. The entire process is controlled by some team in Chennai. There are only two TCS employees as such in a center to cordinate and that too fresh out of college. Rest of the process the biggest IT company in India outsourced to even cheaper labour

In the end what happened was, the entire process got screwed up. Hall tickets were not collected in time. No stationaries were supplied and candidates lost a good 10 minutes.

The story doesn't end here. The very next week the bank asked us officials for explanation on the 'lapses'. We were elieved of our invigilation  duty thereon

As the bank management unilaterally moves to outsource major banking activities to big 'Solution Providers', they may have to do some serious soul searching. Where will they fix the accountability ? Tatas? Ambanis? Or somme poor employee. . Looking at the disastrous human resource management of the bank in recent years, the probablity is very clear

The Taxi Saga

When the decisions of a national organization worth ten of thouands of crore and employing lakhs of people is taken by an individual, you know there's something inherently wrong

I am talking about the nation, largest banker. The former chairman decided across the country all it's branches needed a tax of it's own. That became an emploment opportunity to many. Loans were dished out to all. Nice shiny cars were brought. Branch officials travelled around as kings.

The problem started when the drivers or lease companes started coming up with huge bloated bills. Further there was no mechanism to monitor. Each branch had to shell out a monthly amount of Thirty Thousand Rupees atleast.

The successor to the chairman shelved the whole project. Now the bank has bunch of jobless guys and bad auto loans in their hands

The changing dimensions

I sometimes wonder what would I be doing another 15 years from now ? Begging people into making their lives miserable or as someone put : live the life of a 'glorified beggar'?

Tomorrow my manager attends his review meeting. The day after is going to be miserable for me.

Yesterday I went to meet the guy who wanted to take a car loan. He was into IT. From the phone conversations he sounded too simple . You don't meet these kind now. Simplicity is another manifestation of fraudulent behavior.

But I was totally stunned. The home was very simple . Dad worked as a lineman . He spent all his earnings on the education. The kids got into IT firm & they are buying a costly car for their dad. I picturised a 9 lakh car parked at a 8 lakh home.

The fancy targets

My manager has this special capablity to scampering around giving you a doomed feeling. Poor guy is caught at wrong place & wrong time .

The bank management is too happy at taking decisions on your behalf . They buy you obsolete machines, advertise & set you targets. Then every morning they mail , message & call threatening of 'dire consequences' if targets doesn't happen.

The poor guys at the branch scampers around fearing that their climb up the ladder will get screwed .

A few months back.the big fat guys at the head office realize that our branch has some crowd for passbook printing . So with these following rationales they buy is a heavy , costly machine which automatically updates passbookd
1. Reducing queue .
2. More time for marketing 'profitable products'
3. Shifting to alternate channels.

Then they start cajoling manager to increase hits . The pressure goes beyond a point & manager comes up with the idea : he removes all the machines from the counter.

The sad fact the fat guys never knew was the crowd for passbook updation didn't have the capablity to shift to 'Alternate Channels'. Soon a hue & cry followed . The next evening I see the poor manager fixing the counter machines back .

Bottomline- Pass book itself is being outdated by internet banking . Then why do you need a fancy machine for that ?

Holiday cum working day

A large public sector bank will have lots of shit job pending. And the shit job multiplies with time. The constraint of manpower makes them to postpone it until the last moment when it becomes priority 1.

Cersai or 'Electronic registry of security' is one such thing. Last few weeks people were thrown from here and there to complete the data entry job.

My duty was to complete this at 'Pambanar' . The name sounded so uncool & far off. I woke up early morning & after much enquiries I located the bus . To my surprise the bus went on climbing up and up. It turned out to be a cool hill station with a river flowing on the other side of the road . Pretty ladies were bathing on other side of the river .

I was surprised to see a crowd of ordinary looking people sitting on the door way and a long queue snaking into several coils in front of counter . The branch had one huge ATM room and no one inside. The irony hit me only later . These people were illiterate estate labourers and had to depend on counter for withdrawal of even small amounts.

Years ago a cunning manager took advantage of the illiteracy and sanctioned spurious loans for these people. He took a chunk off it and happily lived ever after. His successor had to clean up the mess after him. Life is so unfair to some

I used to go to hill stations for a visit & stay at hotels at costly prices. But here for three days I had free food & accomdation at a great place.

7 day Bank

Months ago, a happy news went around the bank. Atlast the banking days are going to be reduced to 5.

Banking although seemingly public sector has notorious timings and work culture. Half of it's from colonial banking image which gives some kind of notion that longer you sit, the harder you work . Added to that 'work is worship' , 'customer is king' etc. The funny thing is most of the day is spent doing unproductive and zero-revenue job.

Soon the elation turned to utter despair when the chairman made a grandiose statement: Bank has to work 7 days a week. People were too stunned to speak. Many permutations and combinations were thought about shifting the Sunday chores to other days.

Then the unions & association pitched in with a strike against the arrogance of the chairman. Management responded by chargesheeting the leaders. To make matters worse the charge sheet was revoked for a few.

Last day our beloved chairman came up with his explanations:

It seems the poor guy was answering a question from media on how to make the bank profitable.
Mr Chairman , bank is not going to run on profit by working round the clock. Because  people donot live to bank. They bank to live . Only a minority of the urban elite waste their Sundays to go to bank and spend a few minutes for enquiry. For that are you going to open a whole bank and work the air conditioners and pay the staff and still make profits out of it?
Mr Chairman in case you didn't know , people first make enquiry through internet , do their homework and approach bank or even approach through e mail. For that you needn't open a whole bank  through the week.

I have seen and worked in the Sunday branches and believe me it's a total waste of time to indulge in the financial fantasies of a few jerks.

Mr chairman you spoke about a few industries working round the clock. In case you haven't noticed you get electricity round the clock. That doesn't mean you need to deposit money 7 days a week and you need a loan 7 days a week. Bank is not YET a necessity to sustain human life .

Thirdly you said about keeping the share holders happy. Sir in the end it boil downs to this . I wonder who ate these mysterious figures with deep pockets who draws simple pleasure out of making people work like slaves.
You even mentioned bank belongs to 2lac employees. No sir, it doesn't . It doesn't when you've to work ungodly hours for nothing. In case you haven't known yet bank is most underpaid industry in the public sector.

I hope you some day develop the sensiblity to understand that it's not just the salary an employee needs.

One request to you is never come up with half cooked stories.

Who first?

Who's apple of the eyes of a manager?
The smartest ? No . But I would say the best workhorse. The one who slogs his ass off to get the shit job done .

The nation's largest banker has a very strange policy. They pick up the best few from a young officers batch , make him believe he's special and post him in a single man branch. It sounds good to  hear that you're running a branch alone . At the end of the day you're unable to avail leave, you've to sit long hours as there's no one else to run the show and top of it all you'll have to make sure branch is on profits & you feed the whims and fancies of the bosses.

The good part is the wise guys at the top knows you wouldn't complain as you're too eager to climb the ladder.

But it surprises me that the organization with a so called ethical mission , treats its staff with utter disdain and contempt. There's nothing to it apart from incentives and profits.

Another example was the chairman declaring Sunday ought to be made a working day. This coming at a time when there's a demand for 5- day working.

What comes first ? Employee? Profits? Customer?

A few lessons

The wise used to tell me :
' Never trust anyone at the bank. '
' Save your ass first . '

But I , being a pussy, fall for the theatrics.
Last day a retired Air Force came. He sent his son to Australia and wanted us to disburse the second installament. Ours being a C grade cannot do forex transactions. Hence we will have to release the fund in rupees and send advice to city branch .

The Air force went on and on about the foolishness of sending his son abroad , about how marijuana was legal there. Soon it became a discussion n debate . He talked of sacrificing for the country .

Parallel to the eulogy, I finished my job. There was a service charge component which he had to pay at the city. That's when I shot myself in my foot. Instead of making him pay then and there I asked him to pay at the city branch.

After a few hours we get a irked call from our.city branch. He went there and midway through the process , he announced he has no money for service charge. The city branch as is not responsible for the customer called us up. They couldn't abandon it halfway.

And we had to take risk and additionally release money for the service charges. So another lesson

Beware of a barking dog