The Taxi Saga

When the decisions of a national organization worth ten of thouands of crore and employing lakhs of people is taken by an individual, you know there's something inherently wrong

I am talking about the nation, largest banker. The former chairman decided across the country all it's branches needed a tax of it's own. That became an emploment opportunity to many. Loans were dished out to all. Nice shiny cars were brought. Branch officials travelled around as kings.

The problem started when the drivers or lease companes started coming up with huge bloated bills. Further there was no mechanism to monitor. Each branch had to shell out a monthly amount of Thirty Thousand Rupees atleast.

The successor to the chairman shelved the whole project. Now the bank has bunch of jobless guys and bad auto loans in their hands

The changing dimensions

I sometimes wonder what would I be doing another 15 years from now ? Begging people into making their lives miserable or as someone put : live the life of a 'glorified beggar'?

Tomorrow my manager attends his review meeting. The day after is going to be miserable for me.

Yesterday I went to meet the guy who wanted to take a car loan. He was into IT. From the phone conversations he sounded too simple . You don't meet these kind now. Simplicity is another manifestation of fraudulent behavior.

But I was totally stunned. The home was very simple . Dad worked as a lineman . He spent all his earnings on the education. The kids got into IT firm & they are buying a costly car for their dad. I picturised a 9 lakh car parked at a 8 lakh home.

The fancy targets

My manager has this special capablity to scampering around giving you a doomed feeling. Poor guy is caught at wrong place & wrong time .

The bank management is too happy at taking decisions on your behalf . They buy you obsolete machines, advertise & set you targets. Then every morning they mail , message & call threatening of 'dire consequences' if targets doesn't happen.

The poor guys at the branch scampers around fearing that their climb up the ladder will get screwed .

A few months back.the big fat guys at the head office realize that our branch has some crowd for passbook printing . So with these following rationales they buy is a heavy , costly machine which automatically updates passbookd
1. Reducing queue .
2. More time for marketing 'profitable products'
3. Shifting to alternate channels.

Then they start cajoling manager to increase hits . The pressure goes beyond a point & manager comes up with the idea : he removes all the machines from the counter.

The sad fact the fat guys never knew was the crowd for passbook updation didn't have the capablity to shift to 'Alternate Channels'. Soon a hue & cry followed . The next evening I see the poor manager fixing the counter machines back .

Bottomline- Pass book itself is being outdated by internet banking . Then why do you need a fancy machine for that ?

Holiday cum working day

A large public sector bank will have lots of shit job pending. And the shit job multiplies with time. The constraint of manpower makes them to postpone it until the last moment when it becomes priority 1.

Cersai or 'Electronic registry of security' is one such thing. Last few weeks people were thrown from here and there to complete the data entry job.

My duty was to complete this at 'Pambanar' . The name sounded so uncool & far off. I woke up early morning & after much enquiries I located the bus . To my surprise the bus went on climbing up and up. It turned out to be a cool hill station with a river flowing on the other side of the road . Pretty ladies were bathing on other side of the river .

I was surprised to see a crowd of ordinary looking people sitting on the door way and a long queue snaking into several coils in front of counter . The branch had one huge ATM room and no one inside. The irony hit me only later . These people were illiterate estate labourers and had to depend on counter for withdrawal of even small amounts.

Years ago a cunning manager took advantage of the illiteracy and sanctioned spurious loans for these people. He took a chunk off it and happily lived ever after. His successor had to clean up the mess after him. Life is so unfair to some

I used to go to hill stations for a visit & stay at hotels at costly prices. But here for three days I had free food & accomdation at a great place.

7 day Bank

Months ago, a happy news went around the bank. Atlast the banking days are going to be reduced to 5.

Banking although seemingly public sector has notorious timings and work culture. Half of it's from colonial banking image which gives some kind of notion that longer you sit, the harder you work . Added to that 'work is worship' , 'customer is king' etc. The funny thing is most of the day is spent doing unproductive and zero-revenue job.

Soon the elation turned to utter despair when the chairman made a grandiose statement: Bank has to work 7 days a week. People were too stunned to speak. Many permutations and combinations were thought about shifting the Sunday chores to other days.

Then the unions & association pitched in with a strike against the arrogance of the chairman. Management responded by chargesheeting the leaders. To make matters worse the charge sheet was revoked for a few.

Last day our beloved chairman came up with his explanations:

It seems the poor guy was answering a question from media on how to make the bank profitable.
Mr Chairman , bank is not going to run on profit by working round the clock. Because  people donot live to bank. They bank to live . Only a minority of the urban elite waste their Sundays to go to bank and spend a few minutes for enquiry. For that are you going to open a whole bank and work the air conditioners and pay the staff and still make profits out of it?
Mr Chairman in case you didn't know , people first make enquiry through internet , do their homework and approach bank or even approach through e mail. For that you needn't open a whole bank  through the week.

I have seen and worked in the Sunday branches and believe me it's a total waste of time to indulge in the financial fantasies of a few jerks.

Mr chairman you spoke about a few industries working round the clock. In case you haven't noticed you get electricity round the clock. That doesn't mean you need to deposit money 7 days a week and you need a loan 7 days a week. Bank is not YET a necessity to sustain human life .

Thirdly you said about keeping the share holders happy. Sir in the end it boil downs to this . I wonder who ate these mysterious figures with deep pockets who draws simple pleasure out of making people work like slaves.
You even mentioned bank belongs to 2lac employees. No sir, it doesn't . It doesn't when you've to work ungodly hours for nothing. In case you haven't known yet bank is most underpaid industry in the public sector.

I hope you some day develop the sensiblity to understand that it's not just the salary an employee needs.

One request to you is never come up with half cooked stories.

Who first?

Who's apple of the eyes of a manager?
The smartest ? No . But I would say the best workhorse. The one who slogs his ass off to get the shit job done .

The nation's largest banker has a very strange policy. They pick up the best few from a young officers batch , make him believe he's special and post him in a single man branch. It sounds good to  hear that you're running a branch alone . At the end of the day you're unable to avail leave, you've to sit long hours as there's no one else to run the show and top of it all you'll have to make sure branch is on profits & you feed the whims and fancies of the bosses.

The good part is the wise guys at the top knows you wouldn't complain as you're too eager to climb the ladder.

But it surprises me that the organization with a so called ethical mission , treats its staff with utter disdain and contempt. There's nothing to it apart from incentives and profits.

Another example was the chairman declaring Sunday ought to be made a working day. This coming at a time when there's a demand for 5- day working.

What comes first ? Employee? Profits? Customer?

A few lessons

The wise used to tell me :
' Never trust anyone at the bank. '
' Save your ass first . '

But I , being a pussy, fall for the theatrics.
Last day a retired Air Force came. He sent his son to Australia and wanted us to disburse the second installament. Ours being a C grade cannot do forex transactions. Hence we will have to release the fund in rupees and send advice to city branch .

The Air force went on and on about the foolishness of sending his son abroad , about how marijuana was legal there. Soon it became a discussion n debate . He talked of sacrificing for the country .

Parallel to the eulogy, I finished my job. There was a service charge component which he had to pay at the city. That's when I shot myself in my foot. Instead of making him pay then and there I asked him to pay at the city branch.

After a few hours we get a irked call from our.city branch. He went there and midway through the process , he announced he has no money for service charge. The city branch as is not responsible for the customer called us up. They couldn't abandon it halfway.

And we had to take risk and additionally release money for the service charges. So another lesson

Beware of a barking dog